the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
