dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if only i could text you this smell
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
