If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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