i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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