I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
