Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
