im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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