Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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