3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
