Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
