You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I want her autograph on my taint
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
