How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
