Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
