You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
