i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
