You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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