is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize