I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
