none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize