i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
