Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
