You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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