that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
