Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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