We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
