I am full of burrito and curiosity
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
