My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
