Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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