I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize