she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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