They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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