so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
