Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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