"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
