By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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