What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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