Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
