Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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