Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
