He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I need a beard to bite.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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