i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize