just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
