Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
