I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
