thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're so nebulous sometimes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
