brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
