so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
