I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
