i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
