At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize