I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
