Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize