genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
