Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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