too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
