In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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