I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
