He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
soo... how was my night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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