No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
