Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
