did you get engaged???
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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