He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
