Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize