Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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