Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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