dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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